Entry #3

Just before walking out of the office and heading to the mailbox last night, I caught myself wondering what my mother looks like: Fat? Thin? Tall? Short? Stylish? Dumpy? (Maybe it’s genetic?) This, of course, led me to the corollary: “Well, she’s never seen me, ever, so she’s probably a little curious about what I look like, too.” I sat back down, pulled a few photos–some new, some old–from my hard drive, and printed them out for her.

The baby pics were fine: harmless and thoroughly appropriate. The recent shots, though…well, I don’t have too many of ’em, honestly. I don’t know why. Here’s the ones I chose to send:

Sad but true: this is the most up-to-date shot I’ve got. It’s kinda cute in it’s own way. Message I’m trying to convey: Your son’s goofy and fun-loving and has a good sense of humor. He may be a little “off,” but in a lovable sorta way.

Of course, I had to include a shot of Jonno, so why not send one of my favorites? Even though he’s doing his usual doe-glancing-up-from-the-meadow pose, it’s charming. Message I’m trying to convey: Your son’s boyfriend’s a hottie.

This shows just how limited my selection was. It’s one of the few recent photos in which you can see more than my nose. Of course, this was the pic over which I hemmed and hawed the most: do I really want my mother to know I smoke, even if I’m only a social smoker? Unconsciously, I started making some assumptions about her, like, if she gave me up for adoption then she must have been having pre-marital sex, which was a little trashy back then, so she might very well have been a smoker, too, which was also pretty trashy for women. (Ask a sorority girl sometime about the many dos and don’ts of smoking, including rules about sitting down and having a roof over your head at all times. Or just read Florence King.) Message I’m trying to convey: you’re son’s got plenty of vices, which means he’s not going to hold any of yours against you.

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